This morning I am preparing to go Visiting Teaching and the October Visiting Teaching message is all about what to do when a loved such as a sibling, strays from the Church.
My favorite line I think from the article is the very last line which says
"God has devised means to save each of His children."
We of course need to simply love that person and pray for them, and God can direct us as we do. I can't help but think of myself who has needed the saving lately. My testimony is very confused. I have felt forsaken and alone. My husband and I are falling more and more in debt and are now living with my parents. I am expecting a baby in less than 5 weeks and I am not sure where we are going to even be having this baby. Weston was told about this one job is SLC about a year ago and has gone in several times for an interview, only to find out the guy wasn't even planning on being there.
Well he finally got an interview a month ago and we still haven't heard anything. Yesterday while listening to General Conference #ldsconf it started to hit me that after all this time put into hoping he gets this job, there is a chance that the feelings of peace that I have had about this job might actually just mean comfort that my life was never going to stop coexisting with Vivint summer after vivint summer and that was going to be OK. I went down to my room because my brother noticed tears welling up in my eyes and I just wanted to be alone and unnoticed. I bawled. I bawled and I prayed asking Heavenly Father to just tell me NO if it was a No. I was confused why sometimes He sends peace when the answer is No, when the scriptures say that if it be right then he will send a burning in your bosom, and if it's a No then you will have a stupor of thought. Why do the scriptures say that when peace often means No as well?!
This morning though, as I was reading my scriptures, it hit me that I had recently received a Priesthood Blessing from my Dad advising me to study my scriptures more deeply and to pray to the Lord as I was reading. I have been doing this and my prayers have been lots and lots of questions. I have not received the answers, but the Lord knew that I would be having lots of questions and He thought about me. This morning as this came to my realization, I realized He is trying to save me from losing my testimony.
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