"Cry unto the Lord" Alma 38

Verse 8:  8 And it came to pass that I was three days and three nights in the most bitter pain and anguish of soul; and never, until I did cry out unto the Lord Jesus Christ for mercy, did I receive a remission of my sins. But behold, I did cry unto him and I did find peace to my soul.

     I have noticed in my scripture study that they often use the term "cry unto the Lord" or in this case, Alma says him referring to the Lord.  They rarely use the term pray(ed).  

     This is really sticking out to me.  And it makes me look back at the times I did cry while I prayed.  I was desperate for help, I was willing to pray on my knees when usually I pray laying down in bed, I was humble and just needed the Lord so so so much....And the crazy thing is that after I do this, He responds much faster than my other prayers.

     Then I think, well maybe I should always cry about EVERYTHING.  But that is kind of fake humility, and trying to get what I want.  I don't feel like I need the things, I feel like I want the thing.  I want to always feel humble and be genuine in my humbleness, but it can be hard for sure.

     This summer I cried, okay I bawled on my knees and begged the Lord for this past summer to be our last summer with my husband working for Vivint.  And this time we have ended a summer and instead of my usual "pick wherever you want to live"  scenario, the Lord has told me to wait.  We are living with my parents with 3000$ negative dollars and my husband has actually been applying for jobs...hallelujah!!!  

     After praying so so very hard for this for so long, the Lord didn't soften my husband's heart until after my crying (bawling) prayer.  It has been frustrating to say the least watching my husband come home with promises of applying for jobs and then sits around being grumpy because we don't have very much money.  
    

Wealth...a blessing or a trial? Alma Chapter 1

 29 And now, because of the steadiness of the church they began to be exceedingly ^arich, having abundance of all things whatsoever they stood in need—an abundance of flocks and herds, and fatlings of every kind, and also abundance of grain, and of gold, and of silver, and of precious things, and abundance of ^bsilk and fine-twined linen, and all manner of good homely ^ccloth.

 30 And thus, in their ^aprosperous circumstances, they did not send away any who were ^bnaked, or that were hungry, or that were athirst, or that were sick, or that had not been nourished; and they did not set their hearts upon ^criches; therefore they were ^dliberal to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, whether out of the church or in the church, having no ^erespect to persons as to those who stood in need.

 

     There have been times in my life where I went through phases (my husband doesn't believe me when I call it a phase...he says it's more like a daily hobby)  of spending lots of money.  For example, when I was in High school, my parents taught me to get a job when I turned 16, but then after each paycheck I would go clothes shopping.  It was fun in the moment and I enjoyed having cute clothes for once in my life, but it never made me happy.  In fact there were many times after dropping a lot of money on myself that I actually felt robbed of happiness.

     I even remember feeling so depressed after buying a bunch of clothes that I turned around and returned the clothes.  I know the worker people were annoyed at me, but I felt so much better inside after doing that.

     Today while I was scrolling through my instagram feed, I read the quote posted by the LDSChurch "Unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives." 

     -Thomas S. Monson

 

     I wish I would have figured that out earlier.  I am just barely starting to realize how true that statement is.  On days that I think of myself I get depressed and I feel anxiety strangling my heart. I never realized that it was my lack of service causing that.  The past couple weeks I have been trying to pray and find ways to serve.  I have felt oodles (I never use that word, so weird that is the word I thought to use) of joy fill my soul. I have loved it so so so so so much.  Thank you Heavenly Father for being patient with me as I am learning obvious things.

 

Love,

    Becky joy

 14 And they did ^ahumble themselves even in the depths of humility; and they did cry mightily to God; yea, even all the day long did they cry unto their God that he would^bdeliver them out of their afflictions.

 15 And now the Lord was ^aslow to hear their cry because of their iniquities; nevertheless the Lord did hear their^bcries, and began to soften the hearts of the Lamanites that they began to ease their burdens; yet the Lord did not see fit to deliver them out of bondage.

 16 And it came to pass that they began to prosper by degrees in the land, and began to raise grain more abundantly, and flocks, and herds, that they did not suffer with hunger.

     As I read these scriptures I couldn't help think that God being "slow to hear their cry because of their iniquities" wasn't a pride thing with the intention of "you didn't listen to me, so I am not going to listen to you".  No, He doesn't work like that.  I believe it was because He knew that is what these people needed to grow.  He didn't take their burdens from them, but He eased them.  He knew because of how slow they were to come to Him that they needed time to grow and become stronger.

Love,

     Becky joy

Courage or Fear? Mosiah 19

    We learn in 1 Nephi (and really all over the Book of Mormon) that when we keep the commandments of God we will "prosper in the land".

• 1 Nephi 2:20

  20 And inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall prosper, and shall be led to a land of promise; yea, even a land which I have prepared for you; yea, a land which is choice above all other lands.
•      Mosiah chapter 19 made me sick.  The men were such COWARDS!  They left their women and their children and fledr for their own lives when the Lamanites came to attack them!  How sad is that??
•  11 Now it came to pass that the king commanded them that all the men should ^aleave their wives and their children, and flee before the Lamanites.
   12 Now there were many that would not leave them, but had rather stay and perish with them. And the rest left their wives and their children and fled.
•     I suppose I shouldn't be surprised (even though I still am) because they were wicked.  They knew the truth, but they rebelled against God and followed Satan.  God teaches that family is everything.  He knows our families will bring us the greatest joy.  Satan teaches to destroy the family, he causes contention and fear.  God prospers you in the land.  Satan fills you with fear, doubt, insecurity, and does not and cannot prosper you. 
•      Love,
•         Becky joy

Publishing Peace

Mosiah 15

 14 And these are ^athey who have published peace, who have brought good ^btidings of good, who have ^cpublishedsalvation; and said unto Zion: Thy God reigneth!

 15 And O how beautiful upon the mountains were their feet!

 16 And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those that are still publishing peace!

 17 And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who shall hereafter publish peace, yea, from this time henceforth and forever!

     I am so thankful for the Savior and for all of the people who have made it possible for me to know Him.  I am  so thankful for a Living Prophet today who publishes peace and hold the keys of the priesthood.

      Because of this I am better able to make my home a Zion like place and a Temple.  I struggle with anxiety.  I have been praying to feel peace instead of pressure and my husband gave me a priesthood blessing.  During the blessing I was counseled to focus on my number one goal in this life and that is to become like the Savior.    

     So I tried.  I tried to hard not to raise my voice at my kiddies and be kind.  I tried really hard to keep my house clean.  I tried to make my scripture study better and my personal prayer better.  I even took my kids to the Temple and walked around the grounds, but I kept ignoring a recurring thought that kept coming to my mind, "make bread for your neighbors."

     Each day this came to my mind and each day I kept thinking, "I will do that tomorrow, I have no time today."  Then one day after feeling so stressed I started to pray and ask Heavenly Father what I was doing wrong.  Why did I not feel peace in my life when I paid a full tithe, I went to church, I pray, I read my scripture, etc....and as I was praying in my mind I was on my computer trying to navigate to lds.org where I would turn on a conference talk while I cleaned my kitchen when all the sudden the thought came to me, "make bread for your neighbors".

     Almost seconds after the thought came to my mind, I looked at the computer screen which was now at the website www.lds.org and one of the headings on the screen was about Service.  I realized right then that the Lord had been trying to tell me the whole time how to have peace and to be like the Savior, He was trying to tell me to serve!!

     I began to giggle because I felt silly and thankful all at the same time because I didn't get it before and I was so thankful the Lord takes time to deal with me even though I can be so slow sometimes.  

      The next day I made brownies for my neighbors (I figured that was just as good) and I made brownies for a girl I had seen that day who told me she was craving a treat.  The next day a friend  started to vent to me about how stressed she was because she had people coming over for dinner and she just learned she had to pick someone up from the airport.  I immediately saw this as a chance to serve and so I told her I would do it.  

      Can I share the result?  Peace.  I have been praying since to find a way to serve because service= peace.

Love,

      Becky joy

Sage's favorite thing to do are funny faces these days.

My Why. Mosiah 12

 6 And it shall come to pass that I will send forth ^ahailamong them, and it shall smite them; and they shall also be smitten with the ^beast wind; and ^cinsects shall pester their land also, and devour their grain.

 7 And they shall be smitten with a great pestilence—and all this will I do because of their ^ainiquities and abominations.

 8 And it shall come to pass that except they repent I will utterly ^adestroy them from off the face of the earth; yet they shall leave a ^brecord behind them, and I will preserve them for other nations which shall possess the land; yea, even this will I do that I may discover the abominations of this people to other nations. And many things did Abinadi prophesy against this people.

 9 And it came to pass that they were angry with him; and they took him and carried him bound before the king, and said unto the king: Behold, we have brought a man before thee who has prophesied evil concerning thy people, and saith that God will destroy them.

     As I read my scriptures, I have been trying to read them with the question, 

     "why did the Lord preserve these words for me to read today?"  

     I am finding that I feel the spirit much stronger when I keep that in mind.  As I was reading this chapter about King Noah meeting the Prophet Abinadi, I couldn't help but think of how our world is being flooded with Gay Marriage rights.  

      A long time ago when I was probably 12 or 13 I went to some sort of leadership convention.  I don't really remember what it was but I do remember in one of the classes we were in there was a girl who shared her opinion very openly and strongly that we need to support Gay marriage and that it is wrong to be against it.  Being from Utah, that was the very first time I ever heard someone declare their opinion that was strongly against The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I was so confused by it and honestly just thought to myself she was wrong but I didn't argue with her or anything.  I remember she seemed so angry and while declaring her opinion about not judging she was in return judging and angry towards everyone who thought differently.

     Since then, I have watched more and more people like her come out and once again fight against The Church of Jesus Christ.  Now as I write this, I am of course not saying Gay tendencies don't exist, in fact I am sure they do.  But what I am saying is I stand with God and His Church.   Buy why???

     I know the reason why God established families the way he did when he put Adam and Eve on the earth.  He didn't do it that way so He could find reasons to discipline anyone who didn't choose that, He did it that way because He knows best.  He know that when we create families with a Man and Woman, we will be filled with happiness, joy, and fulfillment.  

     So what is my why for standing with The Church of Jesus Christ instead of against it?  Happiness.  

     For those of you who struggle with any kind of tendency whether it be same sex attraction, drugs, alcohol, stealing, or even jealousy...except you repent, your spirit will be destroyed.  Stay away from those things and you will find happiness.

Love,

      Becky joy

Beautiful pale pink roses from my husband on Mother's day. Love him.

Impressed. Mosiah 9:1

 1 ^aI, ^bZeniff, having been taught in all the language of the Nephites, and having had a knowledge of the land of^cNephi, or of the land of our fathers’ first inheritance, and having been sent as a spy among the Lamanites that I might spy out their forces, that our army might come upon them and destroy them—but when I saw that which was good among them I was desirous that they should not be destroyed.

     After reading this scripture tonight in my scripture study I felt very impressed.  Today is Mother's day but the most ironic thing is that I can't stop thinking about how blessed I am to have such a good man as a husband and father to my children. In this moment, Zeniff reminded me of my husband.  My husband sees the good in others.  He works so so hard to provide for our family.  I love him so much.  He is a huge part of the reason why I have been blessed to be a Mother.  I love him.  

Love,
     Becky joy